Savings & Budgeting

From lobola to the aisle: A complete wedding budget guide

Building a budget for your big day is essential for starting a marriage on a solid financial footing and protecting your financial future as a couple. Getting ready to tie the knot is an exciting time, but the costs can quickly add up, and it's not ideal to still be dealing with wedding expenses long after your special day has passed.

For many couples, planning a wedding also includes preparing for lobola, a meaningful cultural tradition that symbolises respect, family unity and commitment. This means your budget should factor in both modern and traditional costs to help you honour heritage while safeguarding your financial future.

Let’s look at what you need to consider, what it might cost you and how to create and work within a budget to make your dream day happen.

So, how much does it cost for a wedding?

The answer varies depending on several factors, including the size of your guest list, the location of your wedding and the level of extravagance you’ve dreamed of. This also depends on how many weddings you’re having. Are you doing a traditional and a white wedding or a multi-day event?

It's essential to begin by identifying your priorities for the big day.

Step 1: Determine what aspects of the wedding are most important, whether it's the venue, catering, photography or entertainment. Having a clear idea of your priorities will help you allocate your funds effectively.

Step 2: With a rough estimate of your total wedding budget, for instance, you’ve budgeted between R80 000 and R120 000, determine how much of the budget you’re willing to allocate to each aspect.

Step 3: It's time to break it down into specific categories and allocate funds accordingly. Start by researching average costs for each aspect of the wedding, such as venue rental fees, catering prices per person and average rates for photographers and florists in your area.

Step 4: Identify areas where you can afford to trim expenses without compromising the essence of your celebration. Watch out for trend traps that come with hefty price tags. For example, instead of a 360° photobooth, rather opt for photographers or videographers to capture the moments in their own creative ways. This helps resist the urge to add on fleeting trends.

Planning for lobola and traditional wedding costs

A lobola agreement forms part of a customary marriage, where the groom’s family pays the bride’s family. While the main purpose is to bring families together, the process varies between communities and may involve cattle, livestock or money. Lobola can also be refundable under certain conditions.

Legal framework

Customary marriages fall under the Recognition of Customary Marriages Act 120 of 1998, which acknowledges lobola as part of the process, even though it doesn’t define its exact legal implications.
Unlike civil marriages, which are governed by the Marriage Act 25 of 1961 and the Civil Union Act 17 of 2006, customary marriages are concluded through a series of steps, such as paying lobola, celebrating and handing over the bride.
Customary marriages are automatically in community of property unless an antenuptial contract (ANC) is signed and registered at the Deeds Office before the marriage ceremony.
- If you fail to sign and register an ANC beforehand, you will be married in community of property.
- Any later contract would be a postnuptial contract, which requires court approval.
- To ensure a marriage out of community of property, couples must finalise their ANC before the marriage ceremony begins.

Negotiations

During negotiations, each family appoints representatives, often uncles or respected relatives, to act on their behalf. While tradition plays a key role, good faith and transparency are essential.

Negotiations should be guided by the following:

Respect and collaboration: An atmosphere of cooperation helps both families reach agreement.
Clarity and record-keeping: The lobola amount, payment method (cattle, cash or otherwise) and any additional conditions should be clearly documented. This reduces the chance of future misunderstandings.
Fairness: Lobola should reflect both symbolic value and what is affordable. It is not a price tag on the bride but a gesture of appreciation for her and her family.

Practical steps to consider when budgeting for lobola

Discuss expectations openly: Talk with your partner about a reasonable dowry amount. Agreeing on something meaningful but manageable helps avoid debt.
Plan for additional traditional expenses: Traditional attire, gifts, food and travel are often part of the celebration. Budgeting for these in advance helps you stay prepared.
Save specifically for lobola: Setting aside funds in a dedicated savings plan can help avoid dipping into your main wedding budget.
Don’t forget the legal steps: Finalise and register your ANC at the Deeds Office before the marriage ceremony.

By integrating lobola and wedding costs into one clear financial plan, you can respect tradition while building a secure financial foundation for your future together.

Lobola planning checklist

Download our lobola planning checklist to guide your conversations and preparations.

How it works

☐ Identify the negotiators: Elders from each family usually lead the discussions; the couple may be present but often remain in the background

☐ Create a welcoming atmosphere: Expect humour, storytelling and shared meals to ease tension and build connection

☐ Discuss the key points:

Lobola amount (cash, cattle or both)
Payment method (once-off or instalments)
Other agreed contributions (e.g. wedding expenses or gifts)
Negotiate with respect: Discussions may take time, so patience and mutual understanding are key
Seal the agreement: Families may finalise with a written lobola agreement letter to avoid future disputes

The lobola agreement letter

While not a legal requirement, this document is an important record of the agreement.

☐ Include names and details: The couple, key negotiators and date of negotiations

☐ Record the agreed amount: Whether cash or cattle, clearly specify the details

☐ Outline payment terms: How and when payments will be made

☐ Signatures and witnesses: Representatives from both families usually sign, confirming mutual understanding

☐ Cultural blessings: Some families include prayers, invocations or cultural notes to honour tradition

Legal and financial considerations

☐ Discuss an antenuptial contract (prenup): If you do not wish to be married in community of property, sign and register your ANC at the Deeds Office before the marriage ceremony

☐ Budget for related costs: Include attire, travel, accommodation and family gifts

☐ Register your marriage: Formal registration ensures your union is legally recognised

Remember to keep communication open between both families to strengthen ties beyond the ceremony.

Download the checklist here

Budgeting in favour of your long-term future

It's important to remember that building a budget for your wedding doesn't mean sacrificing your dream day. By making smart choices and prioritising what's most important to you, you can create a magical day while taking a step forward in building your financial life together as partners.

By building a budget and working within it, you can enjoy your special day without worrying about the long-term financial impact.

Tips to get the most out of your budget

Embrace ‘all inclusive’ venues that include rentals (chairs, cutlery, crockery and glasses), catering, on-site planning and guest housing. These venues provide significant value if all services are housed under one roof. • Consider a weekday: Some venues charge higher for Saturday dates, so you can opt for a weekday date. Also think about choosing a date outside of the traditional high-demand wedding season.
Skip the party favours: Contemplate skipping the guest gift idea altogether; it can be an unnecessary expense, and honestly, no one is going to miss them.
A 3-course meal isn’t a must: The canapés or harvest table can serve as the starters, with main courses and desserts (including the wedding cake) shared afterwards. Alternatively, you can also serve a buffet, which can be cost-effective and encourage socialisation and conversation.
Digital wedding invitations: Opt for digital invitations, which eliminate printing and postage costs. For those who prefer physical invites, choosing simple designs and standard sizes can reduce expenses. Additionally, buying in bulk and using DIY templates from online platforms can further save you money.

Budget for your big day with confidence

Planning your big day can be an exciting time, but it can also be overwhelming when it comes to budgeting. Use the Budget Manager add-on on our Banking App to help ease that stress by tracking your spending habits and helping you build a budget that won't break the bank.

learn More

References

MJM Attorneys. 2023. ‘Postnuptial contracts and customary marriages in South Africa’. Available at https://mjmattorneys.co.za/blog/postnuptial-contracts-and-customary-marriages-in-south-africa/#:~:text=In%20South%20Africa%2C%20the%20Recognition,security%20in%20their%20matrimonial%20relationships (Accessed: 3 October 2025).

PM Attorneys. 2025. ‘Customary marriages in South Africa explained’. Available at https://www.pmattorneys.co.za/customary-marriages-in-south-africa-explained/ (Accessed: 3 October 2025).

Prenup.co.za. (n.d.) ‘Lobola in South Africa – Everything You Need to Know’. Available at: https://prenup.co.za/lobola-in-south-africa/ (Accessed: 13 October 2025).

_{Disclaimer: This article is solely intended for information. It does not constitute financial, tax or investment advice or recommendation. Please speak to a financial advisor or registered financial professional before making any financial decision(s).}

_{Standard Bank, its subsidiaries or holding company, or any subsidiary of the holding company and all of its subsidiaries make no warranties or representations (implied or otherwise) as to the accuracy, completeness or fitness for purpose of the information provided in this article or that it is free from errors or omissions.}